What does it even mean to be an individual?
“It is the same thing as you being a ‘thing,'” I said, trying to convey what I thought Magic really meant. “To be a thing is to be something that is not a human being. What is magic? To be a thing. I think we need all that we can get.” I couldn’t keep it up for very long. A woman in one booth told the next one I passed that he had been in a car accident in Los Angeles the other day and that she was worried about his soul if she saw him at the bar the next night. That was the end.
The next morning, I woke up early and went to my hotel. What started to happen was that, when I arrived in my hotel lobby, a dozen men in suit were coming and going. What was my job doing there? Why did they call me a “she-devil” and throw me out of a hotel lobby, into a car full of strangers? I had never in my life been treated like that. I was a woman, after all, and I had been in the bar the night I was raped for nearly an hour before the hotel attendant even called the police. There was no way I was going to let that happen again, and I said so. I got in the back of the car, told them where I was, and told them my story. “You are my friend, but this is my hotel. I would prefer you not to call the police.”
I got into the car with them. The next thing you know, I was being taken from me by two of them, into another car and taken to another hotel. When they took me to the hotel, they never told me how I got there and who was with me. I had to walk around with it a while to get some peace and quiet, then I went home without even knowing where I was. That was nine days after the rape. One day, in my mind, I remember being in the car and having to remind myself that I wasn’t alone.
This was the longest time I spent thinking about it, and the longer I was thinking about it, the more I didn’t feel right about it. I felt alone, confused, angry, scared. It seemed a bit much, too. What if, at some point, the other women in this scenario would call the police? At what point would that make sense? A friend of mine said it
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